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Odd Hops Sample #001-050

Coach ridicules a rival coach. — 0050

Man finds bad fortune in his fortune cookie. — 0049

Martial artist student asks stupid question of instructor. — 0048

I’ve always said, “I am what I am,” but I gotta admit I’m not what I was. — 0047

Sports fans yell “boo” to mean “bullshit.” — 0046

A man mistakes the words “urine trouble” for “you’re in trouble.” — 0045

A man goes through the five stages of grief when he discovers that he’s out of beer. — 0044

A man misunderstands a statistic he reads in the newspaper. — 0043

Irish man flirts with a girl who rejects him. — 0042

A rich man notes that while money can’t buy happiness, it can buy nice things, and they make him very happy. — 0041

A man tells a story about calling out the words “small dick” at an assembly, and a bunch of men raise their hands. — 0040

A coach says he’ll get a bad situation turned around 360 degrees. — 0039

An attorney questioning a doctor on the witness stand asks for personal medical advice. — 0038

A young man wonders about the phrase, “I’ve forgotten more than you will ever know.” — 0037

A man corrects his friend for misusing the word “literally.” — 0036

A redneck claims to have so much sophistication, it’s coming out of his ass. — 0035

A sign on a university bulletin board says, “Math Faculty Meeting in the Larger Half of Bellman Hall.” — 0034

A sign in a gun shop says, “Your path to financial independence; inquire inside.” — 0033

A man relaxing on a lawn chair says that the vast majority of people drink more than average. — 0032

A man at a bar tells his hand puppet, “it’s not healthy to drink alone.” — 0031

Man hitting on woman in a bar says his middle name is “trouble.” — 0030

A man is embarrassed that he sharted on a first date. — 0029

A player sees a teammate’s injury and says he’ll need his cat scanned. — 0028

Two sportscasters sarcastically describe a player as “blue collar” and a “cerebral.” — 0027

A man at a bar says that only someone who has not done the bizarre things he has done may cast the first stone. — 0026

A squirrel holding acorns in his paws says he’d give his left nut to be with a certain female squirrel. — 0025

A rugby coach is asked if he has anything concrete on a player’s injury. — 0024

A man who watches too many Russian road rage videos loses his temper easily. — 0023

A coach calls his team is an immovable object. — 0022

Fans of a football team heckle the opposing team’s fans. — 0021

A coach is proud that his team is showing maturity. — 0020

A man wants to buy a fragrance to sweep women off their feet. — 0019

A teacher gives a student a bad grade for poor spelling and grammar. — 0018

A young man filling out a form misunderstands the field titled “sex.” — 0017

A man charged with vending machine theft pays his bail bond in coins. — 0016

A man ridicules modern art in a gallery. — 0015

A coach disciplines a disrespectful player. — 0014

A player is carried off the field because of a pulled groin. — 0013

An attorney objects to a motion in court because he doesn’t know what it means. — 0012

An athlete speaks badly about another player. — 0011

A coach defends his players from criticism in interview. — 0010

A coach asks a new player to spell his difficult to pronounce name. — 0009

A younger man asks an older man about his experience with women. — 0008

Two coaches yell insults at each other across the field. — 0007

Lawyer only cares that he's been paid. — 0006

An athlete asks another athlete about his date the night before. — 0005

A husband makes a stupid joke while undressing before bed. — 0004

An athlete has a neck tattoo written in Chinese characters. — 0003

A diner is surprised at the cost of his all-you-can-eat meal. — 0002

A sports fan insults a rival team’s fan drinking at a bar. — 0001

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