Archive

#001~#050

Coach ridicules a rival coach. Man finds bad fortune in his fortune cookie. Martial artist student asks stupid question of instructor. I’ve always said, “I am what I am,” but I gotta admit I’m not what I was. Sports fans yell “boo” to mean “bullshit.” A man mistakes the words “urine trouble” for “you’re in trouble.” A man goes through the five stages of grief when he discovers that he’s out of beer. A man misunderstands a statistic he reads in the newspaper. Irish man flirts with a girl who rejects him. A rich man notes that while money can’t buy happiness, it can buy nice things, and they make him very happy. A man tells a story about calling out the words “small dick” at an assembly, and a bunch of men raise their hands. A coach says he’ll get a bad situation turned around 360 degrees. An attorney questioning a doctor on the witness stand asks for personal medical advice. A young man wonders about the phrase, “I’ve forgotten more than you will ever know.” A man corrects his friend for misusing the word “literally.” A redneck claims to have so much sophistication, it’s coming out of his ass. A sign on a university bulletin board says, “Math Faculty Meeting in the Larger Half of Bellman Hall.” A sign in a gun shop says, “Your path to financial independence; inquire inside.” A man relaxing on a lawn chair says that the vast majority of people drink more than average. A man at a bar tells his hand puppet, “it’s not healthy to drink alone.” Man hitting on woman in a bar says his middle name is “trouble.” A man is embarrassed that he sharted on a first date. A player sees a teammate’s injury and says he’ll need his cat scanned. Two sportscasters sarcastically describe a player as “blue collar” and a “cerebral.” A man at a bar says that only someone who has not done the bizarre things he has done may cast the first stone. A squirrel holding acorns in his paws says he’d give his left nut to be with a certain female squirrel. A rugby coach is asked if he has anything concrete on a player’s injury. A man who watches too many Russian road rage videos loses his temper easily. A coach calls his team is an immovable object. Fans of a football team heckle the opposing team’s fans. A coach is proud that his team is showing maturity. A man wants to buy a fragrance to sweep women off their feet. A teacher gives a student a bad grade for poor spelling and grammar. A young man filling out a form misunderstands the field titled “sex.” A man charged with vending machine theft pays his bail bond in coins. A man ridicules modern art in a gallery. A coach disciplines a disrespectful player. A player is carried off the field because of a pulled groin. An attorney objects to a motion in court because he doesn’t know what it means. An athlete speaks badly about another player. A coach defends his players from criticism in interview. A coach asks a new player to spell his difficult to pronounce name. A younger man asks an older man about his experience with women. Two coaches yell insults at each other across the field. Lawyer only cares that he's been paid. An athlete asks another athlete about his date the night before. A husband makes a stupid joke while undressing before bed. An athlete has a neck tattoo written in Chinese characters. A diner is surprised at the cost of his all-you-can-eat meal. A sports fan insults a rival team’s fan drinking at a bar.